Men hide things from you all the time. This can make it harder to connect with them or see certain sides of them that would improve your relationship.
I argue that society is the main cause of their secretive nature. Men are told and shown from a very young age that they are supposed to be strong and show no vulnerabilities.
However, men do have feelings and vulnerabilities, and trying to keep them bottled up all the time will only leave them scarred. When you know what to look for, you’ll be able to see the things they hide from you and draw them out.
1. They Hide Their Insecurities
Men feel insecure about a lot of things just like you do. They get insecure about their age, finances, appearances, and even height. The fact that they hide their insecurities doesn’t mean they are not there.
I was 10 years old when my dad told me men don’t cry — I genuinely don’t remember the last time I cried. My roommate back in school used to get rejected by girls because he was short. Experiences like these reinforce their need to hide. It’s a coping mechanism.
The fact that they hide their insecurities doesn’t mean they are not there.
2. They Keep Their Secret Hobbies Hidden
Men have all sorts of hobbies. Some are naughty, some are cute, some are macho (like log chopping), and many are downright weird. They are scared to tell you some of them because they believe you’d laugh or judge.
I love to sing and make art. If I told some of my friends about this, I’d be laughed at. It’s the truth. So why would I risk telling? It would just ruin the fun I have with my hobbies.
Besides:
There’s a certain thrill in having a secret hobby like you’re living a double life — Neil Gaiman.
3. They Hide Their Dreams And Aspirations
Dreams are dreams because they are unrealistic. Men are groomed to be practical and mature. This can make them kill their more whimsical and childish dreams out of fear of appearing immature.
So if you notice your man doesn’t tell you any of his dreams or aspirations, don’t assume he doesn’t have any. He does but is scared you’ll negatively judge him for it.
To remedy this, you can tell him about your own immature and impractical dreams and aspirations. This might force him out of his cocoon and you’ll be able to see a side of your partner that you may have never seen before.
4. They May Hide Their Need For Emotional Support
The stereotype that men are not emotional is false. Men feel deeply. If they didn’t, they’d have very little enjoyment in life.
Society is the cause of this stereotype. They paint men as stone statues that are not allowed to get emotional — EVER. It’s truly awful.
These men then grow up with no knowledge of how to ask for emotional support from you. In fact, they are scared to — thinking you might see them as weak and unstable.
…
I wrote this assuming you are a woman. If you are a man, I want you to know that these stereotypes about us are false and they only take away from our growth as human beings.
With this, I leave you. Thank you for reading and have a nice day!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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Photo credit: Yosi Prihantoro on Unsplash