Yes, he is a narcissist.
Yes, he spits some bombs and facts.
No, he is not a good example.
Nothing right and useful he says can justify who he is.
But, yes, you can learn something or two from narcissists like him.
It is a good time to write this article as we have a case study to help us bring the point home.
And when you learn to look at narcissists this way, not only will you be able to spot them but you will also be less affected by them. Less impressed. Less threatened. Less angered.
Before we get into the lessons you can learn from narcissists, let us discuss two points.
First of all, how to handle a narcissist?
That is simple. It does not need an article. Only two words: stay away.
The tricky part is how to actually spot them
Well, that needs an entire article. A book, maybe.
But here are two quick hacks.
First, develop your dark side. You have an arrogant, selfish bastard inside of you.
Befriend that dark side. It will recognize when someone is an arrogant, selfish bastard.
Just like when you know how to use guns. You will automatically recognize who can and who cannot.
And just like when you are from a specific country (or have lived there). You can recognize those who come from there.
You are one of them. But, in our context, you are one of them but in a controlled manner.
Second, there is this Big Five personality traits scale. Go read about it here if it is the first time you hear of it.
But, according to this reliable, credible personality theory, your score on 2 scales can indicate a narcissistic tendency.
More technically, people high on extroversion and low on agreeableness (disagreeable) have a narcissistic tendency.
Extroversion consists mainly of enthusiasm and assertiveness.
Andrew checks all the boxes. That is not a bad thing, in and of itself.
Agreeableness consists mainly of compassion and politeness.
And once again, Tate is extremely impolite and lacks compassion.
It does not take long to figure that out if you watch only two videos of him speaking.
Not to mention that the more extreme one goes, the deeper the insecurities are. His insecurities have something to do with masculinity (surprise!), fame, recognition, status, and money.
And he is compensating for that in the wrong way.
On him being a sex trafficker and being cancelled
For now, I will not get into the claims of him being a sex trafficker.
That is a journalistic mission that people more qualified than I can do it well. And I believe the truth will eventually reveal itself.
On a side note, I still do not agree with him being canceled or banned. Let the guy speak. He is speaking bullshit.
The real problem is the number of people who believe in him as an example. And generally, I am against banning anyone because it can get tyrannical and oppressive, creating another monster where we wanted to kill one.
This guy is dangerous. But that is not how we protect society from him.
That being said, let us discuss what we can learn from skillful narcissists like Andrew Tate.
Lesson #1: Dress and look your best
Away from wearing sunglasses indoors, the guy dresses well.
And he is fit. So, he looks good.
He takes pride in his appearance. And that is something you can learn from him.
It is not a big deal to dress well. You do not have to learn that from narcissists, but connect the dots after you read all the 3 points.
If the guy looked fatty and dressed like a homeless, no one would have listed to him.
Like it or hate it, we judge people by their appearances. The way you dress and your levels of fitness are important, especially as a man.
Andrew understands that and takes it seriously.
And so should you.
It saddens me to see men in malls or airports wearing short pants and having curvy bodies.
The same goes for women, too, when it comes to dressing well. But I believe women are generally better than men in this area of looks.
And it is not just Andrew. Narcissists are charming, and a part of their charm comes from the way they dress. Rarely do you find a narcissist dressing badly. They tend to take care of their looks to the best of their ability.
Of course, not everyone who takes care of their looks is a narcissist.
And by the way, narcissists trigger insecurity in us if we are not taking care of ourselves enough. If you see a narcissist dressing well and you are neglecting your looks, you will feel bad. They reminded you of your shortcomings.
In this case, to not get affected by them, dress well and take care of your appearance. Not only will it make you more presentable, but also it will help you get less affected by narcissists’ shiny lights because your light shines strong enough.
And oh, work on your fitness. Get in shape. That will give you the advantage of making almost everything you wear look good.
Lesson #2: Being an articulate person is worth gold
One of the reasons Andrew is famous and financially successful is his ability to be articulate.
He is very articulate.
He knows how to speak well. And no, I am not only talking about charisma.
The way he organizes his thoughts, chooses his word, and formulates his arguments is epic.
He knows how to think. It is clear he has some knowledge or experience, either from reading or his boxing career, I don’t know.
And he knows how to formulate his speech, sentence by sentence, and build strong arguments.
This is where his danger really is.
He influences people. And people give him money. He has a secret room, which is basically a chat room, that costs $5000 to join. If he was not articulate, no one would have believed him and this article would be with another narcissist’s name.
Yes, the guy targets desperate men and men who crave to feel masculine, which are many by the way. But overall, he is a good speaker. He is articulate. Hitler found a bunch of idiots and enough evil people to believe in him. But he was articulate as well and provided them with an enticing vision.
And being articulate is the skill you need if you want to get ahead in life. Being communicative and being able to entice people with a vision is a superpower. People will believe in you. You will get opportunities. You will sell things to people who believe in you. All in all, you will gain an unfair advantage. You just need to use it for the good instead of leading people astray.
Being articulate can be one of your strongest economic advantages. And its benefits exceed just money to almost all other important areas in your life such as relationships.
Use it wisely.
Lessons #3: Hit your goals with obsession and aggression
I do not know what Andrew’s goals are. But I can see he is hitting them as hard as he used to hit his opponents in the rings.
The guy is everywhere.
And he says clearly that he is the type of person who cannot just sit there without doing anything. He is always hitting his goals.
He has the type of focus and aggression that are essential to success.
And when I say “aggression”, I know how triggering that word is. Especially with a person like Tate.
Aggression has a dark side that can lead to destruction, wars, crimes, rape, and mayhem.
That is the shadow of aggression.
Aggression has a side that can push us to become better and reach our goals.
A soldier fighting to protect his land needs aggression. Exercising in the gym needs aggression. Waking up early to go for a run needs aggression. Facing a criminal or a thug requires aggression. Protecting your family and society from mayhem needs aggression.
It is the fuel that makes the car move. And it is the fuel that can burn the whole building. It all depends on how you use it. And sometimes, the building needs to be burnt.
Though aggression gets a bad rap, it is necessary. It is a gun. A sword. You need it.
And if you have goals and dreams, you need to hit them with aggression, focus, and some levels of obsession.
That is the best way to achieve them. That is the best way to go sleep at night knowing you held no punches back.
This is what Andrew is doing. He does it in a dark way as the machiavellian principle of the end justifies the means. But you can learn to chew the meat and spit the bone. Use aggression. Go after your goals and dreams with absolute focus and obsession.
Achieving more of your goals will not only make you calmer but will also elevate your status, which will make you less affected by the status narcissists have. This is the same idea as with the looks.
Hit your goals hard enough to achieve them.
Focus on them religiously. Hold no punches back. You will either win or die honorably while fighting. In both cases, you have won. Do that and the winning of others should not bother you, but inspire you.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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