It’s not just about sex in a dead bedroom.
I can masturbate if I want an orgasm.
It’s about intimacy.
It’s about flirting.
It’s about the dirty jokes.
It’s about the butt squeeze as you head out to dinner.
It’s about the whisper against their neck.
It’s about holding the small of their back on the sidewalk.
It’s about sneaking into the shower and making them late for work.
It’s about the “Shhh, we can’t be too loud,” followed by stifled giggles when you have a full house.
It’s not just sex you lose in a dead bedroom. It’s not just a lack of sex that ends a marriage. It’s that you lose all those little moments. All those flickers of excitement and connection.
You are partners and lovers, not just roommates.
Sex is far more than skin friction. It’s a shared bond of touch and affection cemented by desire. It’s the “just us” moments.
It’s never “only sex.”
It’s a strong hand at your hip.
Or a spontaneous kiss.
It’s the brush of your hair away from your neck.
Grazing fingertips.
The “being-on-the-same-team.”
The “us against the world.”
It’s when the “I love you” doesn’t feel hollow. Why? Because there’s not an iota of rejection in it. Your person accepts you and wants you.
For a few minutes of bliss, it’s only you and him in the world. No one else. No problems, no work issues, no kid hassles — just you and your partner pleasuring each other.
Nothing else matters.
No rejection. No swatting away. No icy glares. No cold silences.
No more being alone in a relationship.
Or feeling jealous when you see other couples having small moments together.
“Why can’t we be like that?”
“What happened to us?”
“How did we change?”
The tiny gestures of intimacy lead to the greater ones. The touch, the anticipation, the need, the connection, the cuddles, the conversation — it’s easy to lose. Once the effort fades, it’s gone.
This is everything that was missing with my husband. This is what broke my heart every day in my marriage. This is why I left.
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This is adapted from a r/deadbedrooms post.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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Photo credit: Gary Butterfield on Unsplash