If you have ever wondered what goes on in the mind of the cheater when they become the cheated, or how does a cheater reconcile their own guilt with the searing sting of betrayal, then you will find a good example in this story.
This is the story of Michael (not real name), a very casual acquaintance of mine, who found himself grappling with the shoe being on the other foot even as he embarked on a quest for revenge in the wake of his own prior betrayals.
For many relationships, Michael had lived a double life. With him it was always a web of lies to conceal indiscretions from an unsuspecting partner. He was always full of himself and he reveled in the thrill of his affairs.
However, all his illusions of invincibility came crashing down when he found out the tables had turned and he was vulnerable to the same kind of betrayal he had inflicted on at least four others that I knew of.
Surprisingly, in his case the initial shock soon gave way to another notable emotion: anger! “How could she do this to me?” “I never even cheated on her [yet]!” You can guess our amusement as Michael seethed with righteous indignation and revealed his burning desire for vengeance. I mean, here was a guy becoming obsessed with the idea of making Sabrina (also not real name) pay for inflicting on him the same pain and humiliation that he had inflicted on perhaps countless others!
“You can guess our amusement as Michael seethed with righteous indignation and revealed his burning desire for vengeance.”
However, as he went deeper and deeper into his vengeful fantasies, there was this nagging voice of reason whispering in the recesses of his mind: is revenge truly the answer? Is sinking to the level of someone who wrongs you make you any better than the offender? What about innocent bystanders who could get caught in the crossfire?
If I were that voice, I would have added: are you even entitled to revenge?! But that is just me.
“How could she do this to me? I never even cheated on her [yet]!”
After a while, it seemed the moral dilemma gnawed deep enough into his conscience that he overcame his primal urge for retribution. The path of revenge is after all a dark and treacherous one that promises only hollow victory and further heartache. So, with a heavy heart he made the difficult choice to turn away from vengeance.
The more befitting path was, of course, the path of introspection and healing. And happily, Michael made the choice to confront the demons of his past and strive to become a better, more honest version of himself.
“After a while, it seemed the moral dilemma gnawed deep enough into his conscience that he overcame his primal urge for retribution.”
From what I have heard, it wasn’t an easy path for him to follow but he persevered. I am very optimistic he has found closure and happily not in the pursuit of revenge, but in the satisfaction of knowing that he had chosen the higher path. And though even for him the scars of betrayal would always linger, he has finally emerged from the crucible of infidelity, a wiser, more empathetic soul.
“The path of revenge is after all a dark and treacherous one that promises only hollow victory and further heartache.”
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash