We become our thoughts, and the self-talk we engage in influences our results and the quality and richness of life we experience.
The self-talk is usually automatic and often goes unnoticed because it is deeply embedded in our subconscious mind as a part of our paradigm. When it comes to our habitual behavior and our results, the paradigm runs the show.
No one is immune from the grips of the paradigm, who’s only goal is to keep us safe and sound, stuck in our comfort zone. Even people who are stuck in over-achiever mode can get stuck in their paradigm and comfort zone. For them, being overextended and stressed IS their comfort zone.
There are a few phrases and words I hear quite often when talking with clients and potential clients that can sneak up and truly derail your chances of having the life you truly want. I’ll address them over the coming weeks, but this first one is particularly damaging.
“I can’t” or “I don’t have…”- This is probably the most disempowering phrase of all, and it gives power to something outside of yourself. “I can’t” do this because I don’t have the time, the money, or something else happened that prevented me from doing this thing I said I wanted to do.
Instead of saying, “I can’t” or the other variation, “I don’t have (the money, the time, the freedom, the blah blah blah) I want you to use the phrase, “I choose not to.” When you use this phrase, it automatically gives you back your power.
When we say things like “I can’t,” we are being lazy in our thinking and relinquishing our power to someone or something else such as our boss, someone in our family, or a circumstance.
When you catch yourself saying, “I can’t,” Immediately adjust your thinking and say, “I choose not to.” Notice how that feels. Does it feel empowering? Do you feel inspired to take a stand for yourself and choose another option? For most, it can feel empowering, and if you pride yourself on always wanting to improve, it might even get under your skin a bit because you can see the “I can’t” for truly what it is…an excuse and a way to avoid making a committed decision.
Once you make the committed decision to take a stand for yourself and your dreams, those obstacles and excuses make way for the new, awesome version of you; it can almost seem magical. Stop fighting for your limitations and start fighting for the power that is already inside of you, just waiting to emerge.
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This post was previously published on Laura Noel & Stretch Into Success.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | Why I Don’t Want to Talk About Race | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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