Jill and Derick Dillard held a funeral for their stillborn daughter, who died in utero.
“Isla Marie, our baby girl. We will love you forever & hold you in our hearts until we hold you in heaven,” the couple wrote on Instagram, captioning photos of the April 19 service.
In photos, they displayed various baby gifts for their daughter such as books, toys and bottles, a copy of the service program and the baby name “Isla Marie.”
On April 13, the couple shared their pregnancy loss, writing on Instagram:
“It is with heavy hearts that we announce the stillbirth of our beautiful baby girl, Isla Marie Dillard. Jill was 4 months pregnant (due in August) when we found out that our baby died in utero,” the couple wrote. “From the moment we found out we were pregnant, we couldn’t wait to meet our baby. Isla was much loved from the start, and her 3 big brothers were so excited to introduce her to their world.
They added, “We appreciate your prayers as we continue to grieve and heal from the loss of our little Isla Marie.”
The Dillards have three sons, Israel, 9, Samuel, 6, and Fredrick, 1.
It can be healthy and healing to honor pregnancy loss with a physical act, says Patti Budnik, a bereavement care manager at Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support.
“We are contacted every day by newly-bereaved families ... who find that having an end-of-life ritual, such as a burial or a memorial service, can be meaningful,” Budnik tells TODAY.com.
Acts of remembrance (a butterfly release, a candle vigil, cremation or burial) can give closure for people after pregnancy loss.
“It also helps friends and family know and see that the baby — and the grief — is real to parents,” she says.
According to Budnik, it’s hard to find the best words to comfort a friend or family member after pregnancy loss.
“When people want to know how to support their loved one ... it could be OK to bring it up or say, ’I’m here for you,’” she says, adding, “They will never forget it.”
Budnik shares one woman’s breakthrough 23 years after an early pregnancy loss.
“She never knew she could give her baby a name,” says Budnik. “Then, when her daughter had an early miscarriage and named her baby ... she did too.”