As MD Meets Techie — a multicultural couple, we understand the challenges of navigating cultural differences in a relationship. Our diverse backgrounds and beliefs can sometimes create obstacles, but we’ve found that with open communication and a willingness to learn, we can create a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.
Cultural differences impact all aspects of your relationship from the present day disagreements (such as how to manage finances) to key future decisions (such as what values to teach your kids).
Acknowledge and Respect Differences
One of the first steps in navigating cultural differences is to acknowledge and respect each other’s backgrounds and beliefs. We recognize that our cultural identities shape our perspectives and experiences, and we strive to be open and respectful of these differences.
An easy and simple way we’ve been able to do this is to start conversations that involve cultural differences with this acknowledgement.
“Hey I understand your perspective on this growing up was… are you open to discussing how we can…”
Learn About Each Other’s Cultures
Taking an active interest in learning about each other’s cultures can help us better understand and appreciate each other. We enjoy exploring cultural festivals, museums, and other events together, and we often share stories and traditions from our respective backgrounds. More than all the above it makes for interesting conversations that can span across multiple date nights.
If you’re in the mood for learning about your partner’s childhood experiences growing up, check out our “Notion Date Nights — Childhood Memories” template on our shop. It’s a popular product that uses Notion to help couples learn about each other.
Communicate Effectively
Effective communication is key in any relationship, but especially when navigating cultural differences. We’ve learned to be patient and listen actively, and to ask questions when we don’t understand something. It’s important to approach these conversations with an open mind and a willingness to learn.
The first major place where we found cultural differences hit us hard in our relationship was at our wedding. His side was used to more of a minimal and formal event. Her side was used to bringing the party. We had disagreed and compromised on multiple things before landing on a wedding format that both of us felt was the best fit for our families. Underlying that achievement was clear and effective communication with acknowledgement of the compromises made by the other person.
Address Stereotypes and Assumptions
Stereotypes and assumptions can be harmful and create unnecessary tension in our relationship. We challenge these biases and work to avoid making assumptions about each other’s cultures. We also recognize the impact of larger societal stereotypes and work to combat them together. With this acknowledgement, the mention of stereotypes affects us less in our relationship. In fact it draws a smile in each of our faces knowing we have discussed and overcome any ill meaning that exists in the stereotype.
Celebrate Similarities and Differences
We celebrate both the similarities and differences between our cultures and find ways to incorporate them into our relationship. We enjoy cooking meals that blend our cultural backgrounds and exploring new cultural experiences together.
It could be something very simple — last year for our New Years celebration, we placed 2 food delivery orders from each of our favorite local restaurants, invited our friends over and educated them about each of our cultures. On a more competitive day we may ask our friends to vote for the best food!
Embrace Each Other’s Families
Our families may have different cultural backgrounds, but we embrace and respect each other’s families nonetheless. We understand that family is an important part of our respective cultures and work to build strong, respectful relationships with each other’s families. We spend countless hours on the phone educating each others families on the cultures backgrounds of the other, and while it’s not easy to have a 60 year old adult brain embrace crazy dancing at a wedding, it is possible!
Create Your Own Cultural Identity
As a couple, we have the opportunity to create a unique cultural identity that incorporates both of our backgrounds. We enjoy creating art, music, and other forms of expression together that blend our cultural influences. Sometimes it could even be something that’s unique to your relationship with no cultural influences. For example, we’re a couple that love discussing the future of what’s possible with technology, and we hope to create a culture that embraces that notion.
Seek Support
Navigating cultural differences can be challenging, but there are resources available to help. We seek support from other multicultural couples and therapy to help us navigate our relationship with greater understanding and ease.
Now it’s your turn! How have cultural influences impacted your relationship?
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Jose Escobar on Unsplash