Democracy Dies in Darkness

Carolyn Hax: Was it wrong to approach late wife’s pal for no-commitment sex?

A widower wants to know how to make amends after asking his late wife’s friend for a physical relationship.

Advice by
Columnist
May 9, 2024 at 12:00 a.m. EDT
(Illustration by Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post) (Illustration by Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post)
3 min

Adapted from an online discussion.

Dear Carolyn: I lost my wife last year to breast cancer, and it was the most devastating thing I’ve ever experienced. I can’t imagine ever wanting a romantic relationship with another woman.

I have been missing the physical side of a relationship, so I approached a friend, “Margo,” about a “friends with benefits” situation. Margo’s been friends with me and my wife for almost 20 years. We helped her get the courage to leave her emotionally abusive marriage and stood by her though the bitter divorce. This was about 10 years ago. Since then, Margo hasn’t dated much; she kept saying she didn’t think she’d ever want a full-blown relationship again.