Carolyn Hax can’t get to every question she receives, so every week we ask readers to think like an advice columnist and submit their advice. Out of the many great responses we receive, we select a few standouts to publish on Wednesdays.
This week’s reader question is now closed for submissions. Check back on Wednesday when we’ll publish a piece with our favorite responses.
Dear Carolyn: In my early 20s I was married briefly and soon divorced. Logistically, it was as easy as divorces go since we were young, didn't have kids and there wasn't a lot of material stuff to fight over. However, it was rough for a couple of years for me mentally. My ex's behavior was selfish and immature, and I came away from the whole thing with a low opinion of him.
Life goes on and, 15 years later, I am married with young children. It turns out my ex-husband and his family — with children the same age as mine — is my neighbor from the street behind us. At first I didn't know this, and a friendship started as my kids played with his kids at the neighborhood park while his wife and I talked. We developed a nice playdate kind of friendship, and she came over for coffee frequently. Her husband, my ex, travels for work a lot so I never saw him on these occasions. The last name is fairly common, so I never made the connection.
Now their kids are signed up for neighborhood swim team with mine, and I saw his name on the email group and I know it's him because his first name has an unusual spelling. I feel like moving away now, which I know is ridiculous. I dread the idea of seeing him at all and especially as the father of my kids’ friends and the husband of my new friend.
I know I need to get over this, somehow, but how? And how do I tell my neighbor that I am her husband's ex, and that I pretty much hate him?
— Small World
