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Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez: ‘Everything is a fight’ as he reluctantly tries couples therapy to save marriage

Affleck and Lopez aren’t ready to ‘throw in the towel’ just yet, one report says, though another says they’ve been locked in a battle of egos since rekindling their romance three years ago

US actress Jennifer Lopez and actor Ben Affleck arrive for a special screening of "Marry Me" at the Directors Guild of America (DGA) in Los Angeles, February 8, 2022. (Photo by VALERIE MACON / AFP) (Photo by VALERIE MACON/AFP via Getty Images)
US actress Jennifer Lopez and actor Ben Affleck arrive for a special screening of “Marry Me” at the Directors Guild of America (DGA) in Los Angeles, February 8, 2022. (Photo by VALERIE MACON / AFP) (Photo by VALERIE MACON/AFP via Getty Images)
Martha Ross, Features writer for the Bay Area News Group is photographed for a Wordpress profile in Walnut Creek, Calif., on Thursday, July 28, 2016. (Anda Chu/Bay Area News Group)
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Nearly two years into their marriage, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez aren’t ready to “throw in the towel,” but they are having “issues” and are on “two different pages most of the time” when it comes to their relationship, say sources in one report, following news that the “Gone Girl” actor is currently living separately from his wife.

This Us Weekly report cites an insider who said that the problems started “a few months ago,” as Lopez began ramping up work commitments and prepping for her concert tour.

But another report, from In Touch Weekly suggested that the issues between Lopez, 54, and Affleck, 51, go much deeper.  Someone who has known Affleck “for more than 10 years” said that “everything is a fight” between the Oscar winner and his singer/actor/dancer/influencer/entrepreneur wife.

“The only satisfaction he gets in life is overcoming when the odds are stacked against him,” the source told In Touch. “Now that they’re reunited, the ego battle between Ben and Jennifer was always on full display and is only eclipsed by the obvious passion and respect they have for one another. But there has to be an easier path and you have to ask why they want their marriage to be this way in the first place?”

In Touch also reported that Lopez convinced Affleck to do couple’s therapy, but he’s participating reluctantly, with the source saying that the sessions are “messing with Ben’s head” and actually doing more harm than good.

“Ben believes in therapy, to a point, and is willing to be a good sport about participating with an open mind, even though he hates the whole humiliating process,” this Affleck source said.

It’s easy to wonder if Affleck’s reported discomfort with therapy played into Lopez’s move Thursday, amid growing speculation about their marital troubles. Lopez “liked” an Instagram post from a relationship coach that detailed the qualities in a partner that lead to an unhealthy relationship. The post said “you cannot build a healthy relationship with somebody” who “lacks integrity and emotional safety,” “doesn’t respect your time,” lacks “communication skills” and doesn’t have a strong sense of self.

Speculation that Affleck and Lopez’s marriage was in trouble reached a fever pitch this week after TMZ and other outlets reported that he was staying in a separate residence. TMZ published photos Thursday, showing Affleck leaving a home in the Brentwood neighborhood of Los Angeles, which is about six miles west of the massive $60 million family mansion in Beverly Hills that he purchased with Lopez last year. TMZ also “confirmed” that Affleck had been staying at the Brentwood address “over the past week or so.”

But as paparazzi snapped Affleck and Lopez separately around Los Angeles this week, the photos also showed that the couple were still wearing their wedding rings — possible confirmation that they were not yet “throwing in the towel” and were still working on their marriage.

Affleck and Lopez also were seen wearing their rings when they turned up at event Thursday night in support of Affleck’s child, Fin, In Touch reported. The 15-year-old was performing in a school play. A source told In Touch that Affleck and Lopez arrived separately, but Lopez joined Affleck in his SUV as they drove away with her 16-year-old child Emme.

Before the couple attended the school event, reports in the Daily Mail and People noted that they had not been publicly photographed together for 47 days. They were previously last seen together in public in New York City on March 30.

Lopez spent time in New York in April and early May, filming one movie, “Kiss of the Spiderwoman,” promoting another, her upcoming Netflix movie “Atlas,” and preparing for the 2024 Met Gala, for which she served as co-chair, People reported. She notably attended the May 6 Met Gala without Affleck.

Meanwhile, the “Argo” actor and director has been on the West Coast, filming “The Accountant 2” and appearing at the May 5 Netflix roast for Tom Brady, which he also attended solo.

The couple, who famously dated from 2002 to 2004, rekindled their romance in 2021. They eloped to Las Vegas in July 2023, then held a lavish, star-studded ceremony and reception for friends and family the following month at Affleck’s 87-acre compound outside Savannah.

With their wedding, Affleck was marrying for the second time, while Lopez was marrying for the fourth. She broke off her high-flying engagement to New York Yankees baseball star Alex Rodriguez in 2021, just before reconnecting with Affleck. Between them, Affleck and Lopez also have five children.

In “The Greatest Love Story Never Told,” the autobiographical documentary Lopez released several months ago, she portrayed Affleck as the love of her life and described how they had finally found each other. She also got candid about her personal growth, her struggle to find a suitable romantic partner and her much publicized habit of cycling through relationships, engagements and marriages.

At one point in the documentary, Lopez acknowledged that people are probably wondering, “What is this girl’s (expletive) problem?”

The documentary certainly points to differences the couple have over the extent to which they should conduct their relationship in public. Affleck, who has a supporting role in the documentary, expressed his discomfort, saying that the intense media scrutiny they faced when they dated in the 2000s was a factor in them splitting just before they got married.

“Getting back together, I said, ‘Listen, one of the things I don’t want is a relationship on social media,’” he said. He also made it clear he didn’t like the way she made aspects of their private life public, calling these private moments “sacred.” He rolled his eyes when he recalled how she shared all their old love letters with her friends and colleagues.

But Affleck also admitted, “Then I sort of realized it’s not a fair thing to ask. It’s sort of, like, you’re going to marry a boat captain and you go, ‘Well, I don’t want the water.’ We’re trying to learn to compromise.”

Lopez acknowledged: “I don’t think (Ben) is very comfortable with me doing this, (but) he doesn’t want to stop me.”