To know whether someone is using you in a relationship is not as easy as you might think. Because you may be blinded by the love you have for them. Even though there are multiple ways one is being used and manipulated in a relationship, figuring out which way you’re being used can be quite difficult.
Some of the signs are not obvious, you may not see it as being bad in the first place. However, some manipulations are quite obvious like financial, sexual, and emotional manipulations.
Why would someone be using you in a relationship?
• They can use you to avoid loneliness.
• To fulfill their sexual needs.
•To lessen a financial burden.
• They may have no interest in investing in you, and they are just using you to meet their needs.
These deceit and manipulations can cause emotional and mental harm to you, especially when you realize you are being used by someone you love and trust the most.
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Here are the obvious signs someone might be using you in a relationship.
1. They show no interest in your everyday life.
Not interested in conversations with you. Your activities and choices do not matter to them. They don’t ask for your opinion in their dealings and also, do not listen when you talk.
2. They only became nice to you when they needed something.
They may seem not interested in your activities, but when they need something, or a favor from you, they will pretend to be nice and affectionate.
With the way they behave, you will notice that their kindness is not genuine.
3. When they come around, you feel uncomfortable.
You are used to their manipulations, and each time they come around you, your body feels what their intentions are at the moment, and that makes you angry and tense up.
So, pay attention to these feelings, because emotional reactions like this can be a sign that they do not have your interest at heart.
4. Crossing your boundaries.
They may cross your boundaries just to meet up with their own need. You will know who they are especially when they step into your boundaries without respect.
They are supposed to respond to your boundaries with understanding and adjust their behaviors.
5. They are always argumentative and defensive.
They wouldn’t want to resolve issues amicably, rather they became so defensive and would like to push all the blame on you.
If the person you are in a relationship with is not ready to listen to your concerns, and the solutions out, then it may be time you away from them.
– Says Keischa Pruden, LCMHCS, LCAS, CCS, a therapist and CEO of Pruden counseling group.
6. They behave differently in private.
When you are outside with them, they behave cheerfully and friendly, especially when both of you are around people who are ignorant of your togetherness.
They behave differently So that people won’t notice any faults.
At home and in private, they show you their true colors and real behaviors towards you.
This can be a sign that you’re not so important to them. They are just using you to fill some gaps in their lives.
In nutshell.
These are the 6 red flags, they are indicators that show your partner might be using you and should be watched out for.
However, it is important to know what to do if you notice that you are being used in a relationship.
What to do.
According to Dr. Carla Maria Manly, a clinical psychologist, speaker, and author. These are her suggestions.
• Have a genuine conversation with them, explain how you feel, and how the imbalance affects you.
• Observe their response and know whether they apologize and make a change or do they get more defensive.
• If you’ve examined them and finally found out that they are being manipulative, the best thing to do is to try and move on with your life.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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