This is an op-ed by writer Erin Coulehan about the destructive commodification of Valentine's Day and how we can better celebrate our loved ones on February 14.
I was six years old when I saw Cher Horowitz send herself flowers in Clueless to prove her sexual desirability to a prospective partner. I took a mental note of this moment and deeply internalized the idea that receiving flowers from a boy was an experience to be desired. As I grew up, this idealistic romantic milestone was reinforced through movies, television, and other forms of pop culture. Like many others, I figured that was what a partner did when they truly loved you — they’d give me gifts of jewelry and dozens of roses.
And yet, unbeknownst to six-year-old me and many other folks around the world, the act of giving flowers as a form of courtship has created a dangerous floriculture industry that compromises human lives in the name of love. The diamond industry also has harmful impacts on the environment, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
In fact, most modern symbols of love in American culture have a troubling history rooted in antiquated romantic gestures, greed, and health risks for vulnerable populations. While Valentine’s Day serves as a reminder for some to tell their loved ones how much they mean to them, its commodification is dangerous. Let’s take a look at a little bit of the history of February 14’s gift-giving culture to dissect its storied and worrisome past.
Diamonds Are No One’s Best Friend
Though many may think our attraction to sparkly, shiny things is intrinsic, it wasn’t always that way — in fact, like many of our desires, it was manufactured. In 1938, De Beers hired an advertising agency to create a campaign that would make Americans feel a psychological need to purchase diamond jewelry as an expression of love, the hook being “the greater the diamond, the greater the expression of love.”
This trend continued throughout the decades, and in 1999, AdAge named De Beers’s “A diamond is forever” the top slogan of the 20th century. However, despite public opinion that diamonds are priceless gifts of love, that same year, De Beers's then-chairman Nicky Oppenheimer said, “Diamonds are intrinsically worthless, except for the deep psychological need they fill.”
But diamonds are more than worthless — they’re actually harmful. In countries like Zimbabwe, researchers have found that diamond mining affects local women in mining communities by causing displacement and relocation to facilitate the mining industry. Additionally, violence against women has escalated because of the displacement of local communities. According to a report from the Extractive Industries and Society, researchers have found via interviews that forced prostitution has increased among women in one of the surrounding areas, and the harm doesn't stop there. Diamonds from some regions in Africa are also often sold to finance weapons used in brutal civil wars that terrorize communities and contribute to sex trafficking, as well as the systematic rape of women, and child soldiers.
In 2017, a leaked memo viewed by Reuters suggested the Trump administration was seeking to ask the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission to temporarily waive stipulations in the “conflict minerals” rule. This is a provision in the Dodd-Frank Act that discourages American companies from funding conflict and human rights abuses like those that occur in some areas, including the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
The leaked memo (which at the time could not be verified for authenticity by Reuters), reportedly requested reasons to suspend the “conflict mineral” rule, such as showing that it had led to job loss.
Despite legislation like the Dodd-Frank Act, ethical alternatives to diamonds, and human rights groups who advocate against the mining and trading of illicit jewels, diamonds remain one of the most prominent symbols of love in Western culture. One could say that the De Beers campaign to produce a need for symbols of love had extreme efficacy and contributed to the commodification of Valentine’s Day.
A Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell…Well, Less Complicated
According to a 2016 paper in the journal Front Public Health, working with cut flowers can be dangerous because of the number of pesticides used to preserve the product. Exposure to chemicals like organophosphates found in pesticides can lead to a multitude of health problems that include cancers, mental health problems, and reproductive issues. The danger of being exposed to the endocrine disruptors in pesticides, which can act in the body similarly to hormones, may pose very serious risks that can affect the nervous system, cause developmental malformations, and alter gene expression.
The flowers could not only negatively impact the workers and recipients but also the local environment, according to Martin Donohoe, an adjunct professor at the School of Community Health at Portland State University and senior physician at Kaiser Permanente Sunnyside Hospital. In a 2008 paper that Donohoe authored in the journal Human Rights Quarterly, he noted that floriculture displaces the production of local crops and other goods, which contributes to malnutrition of the local community and requires massive quantities of water for irrigation.
So what’s a doting lover (and lover of flowers) to do? Many ethical and sustainable alternatives exist, such as flowers available from Whole Foods, which uses Whole Trade Flowers, or other ethical providers such as Organic Bouquet and Flowerbud.com.
Alternative Ways to Show Affection on Valentine’s Day
The Valentine’s Day gift-giving complex has created a system of endangering people at every link in the chain. The production of commodities like floral arrangements harm the workers responsible for making them — a workforce largely built of women. Love that is built on the subjugation of other women is not true love. But have no fear — there are other gifts you can give this Valentine’s Day.
“There are alternative ways to show one’s affection, such as artisanal crafts made by women’s collectives in developing countries, donations to charities, and homemade gifts, all of which exhibit a shared commitment to sharing their love with future generations without harming others,” Donohoe tells Allure in an interview.
Some of the most memorable gifts are the least costly and ostentatious. Writing a love letter or card, offering your partner a massage, or cooking a special meal can connect you on an intimate level because you'll forever value the memory of the experience. Ultimately, no matter how you choose to celebrate the holiday, consumers should be aware of the impact traditional gifts have on people and on the environment and make the choice to search for more benign and original expressions of love.
Read more about love and Valentine's Day:
- A Survivor's Guide to Getting Through Valentine's Day
- 12 CBD and Cannabis Gift Ideas to Chill You Out
- 31 People Reveal Their Definitions of Love for Valentine's Day
What this genderqueer person loves most about the way they look:
