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Andy Grandmottet-Shaw and her husband Yves
‘I don’t think anyone who saw us on our honeymoon would think we’d still be together 20 years later’: Andy and Yves. Photograph: Provided by Andy Grandmottet-Shaw
‘I don’t think anyone who saw us on our honeymoon would think we’d still be together 20 years later’: Andy and Yves. Photograph: Provided by Andy Grandmottet-Shaw

How we met: ‘I rang her doorbell at 2am, but she didn’t wake up because she was drunk’

This article is more than 4 years old
Andy Grandmottet-Shaw, 51, and her husband, Yves, 49, met in 1996 after a dispute about some loud music. They live in Porto and have one daughter

Andy first clapped eyes on Yves in 1996, when they were living in the same block of flats in Newcastle. “Someone used to play this loud, terrible music and my boyfriend presumed it was him,” says Andy. “I used to bang on the ceiling shouting: ‘Shut up, you French wanker!’” Yves laughs. “Yes, she just assumed it was me. Blame the French person.”

But it turned out he wasn’t responsible for the noise. The couple finally met properly when Andy’s then-boyfriend invited Yves round for a drink. “There was definitely some tension there,” says Yves. “Yes,” Andy agrees. “Major sexual tension!”

Before long, Yves went to Nottingham for work, while Andy stayed in Newcastle to continue her master’s degree. By the time he returned after Christmas, Andy and her boyfriend had split up. “He was a lovely guy, but we didn’t have anything in common.”

In a cunning plan to meet her French neighbour again, she dropped round to his flat to ask if he could change a lightbulb for her. Then she invited him to join her and a friend for dinner. “My poor friend went home early,” she remembers. “We just gazed at each other all night.” Yves adds that there was a lot of “drunken snogging”.

“Yes,” says Andy. “But I sent you home afterwards.”

The couple spent the next two weeks together, before Yves announced that he was moving to Nottingham for work. They decided to keep their arrangement casual. “You told me it was fine to see other people,” says Yves.

“Yeah,” Andy agrees. “I didn’t really mean it, though!”

One day, Andy went to meet Yves in Nottingham. “I was nervous,” she recalls. “I’m rubbish with faces and couldn’t remember exactly what he looked like.” She needn’t have worried. “When we met in town? Wow! That was the best kiss ever.”

Still, at this point, neither was looking for a serious relationship. “He was all heartbroken over another girl, saying: ‘I’ll never love again.’” But they continued to see each other after Yves moved to London a few months later. “I used to drive from work late at night to come and see her,” he remembers. “One time, I ended up sleeping in the car. I rang the doorbell at 2am, but she didn’t wake up because she was drunk.”

Andy laughs. “Yeah, I probably was. I think it impressed me that you’d slept in the car.”

By the end of 1997, they were officially a couple and Yves moved in with Andy. It is fair to say it didn’t go smoothly at first. “He lost my cat. I told him not to leave the window open.” Although she was “furious”, she eventually forgave him. The pair decided to get married in 1999. “He’s so handsome and such a charmer,” Andy says. “We bicker, but it’s from a place of humour and we have the same sensibilities at our core.” Yves says their relationship has become stronger over time. “At the start, it was all drink, laughter and lust. I think we bid on laughter and took a chance.” He doesn’t think they bicker that much.

“What about the honeymoon fights?” says Andy. “Oh yeah.” Yves laughs, remembering one incident when they had been fighting in the car. “I thought it would be funny to move the car while she was in the petrol station shop.” Andy, who didn’t realise, got in to someone else’s car and started shouting at the man in the driver’s seat. “That poor Spanish bloke didn’t know what hit him!”

In 2003, the couple moved to Portugal; they have since faced many difficult times together, including bereavement and Yves’ battle with an aggressive cancer. He is better after treatment but it was a scary time.

“I don’t think anyone who saw us on that honeymoon would think we’d still be together 20 years later,” says Andy. “He makes me whole, though, as cliched as it sounds. He’s funny, annoying –”

“I’m not annoying,” interrupts Yves.

“You definitely are. But you make me a better person. I know I can be –”

“Arsey? Short-tempered?” They laugh again. “Andy makes me a better person, too,” says Yves. “I couldn’t be without her.”

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