Marshawn Lynch is also just ’bout that actin’, boss.
Turns out the ex-Seahawks RB will have a “pretty substantial” role in “Westworld,” HBO’s sci-fi series, when its third season premieres March 15.
Even more shocking? It’s not even a silent movie.
Stat of the Week
66: average number of times an MLB team’s hitters got plunked by pitches in 2019
41: times that Houston hitters “took one for the team” last season
83.5: William Hill sportsbook’s over-under on number of Astros HBPs this season
Grass stained
Former NFL wideout Quan Bray, along with free-agent tackle Greg Robinson, was arrested after drug-enforcement agents in Texas said their rental car had 157 pounds of marijuana in it.
So much for trying to shake his reputation as just a possession receiver.
Injury of the Week
Mets reliever Seth Lugo fractured his left pinkie toe after stubbing it on an ottoman in his hotel room.
In other words, he won’t be toeing the slab for a while.
Banging the can
With the specter of opposing pitchers plunking Astros hitters at a record rate over the team’s sign-stealing scandal, just have to ask:
• Will Houston’s promotional giveaways include Astros Replica Jersey Night, sponsored by Target?
• By season’s end, will Houston — not Boston — be laying claim to the title of “Bean Town”?
Bucks stopped here
Ohio State’s athletic department lost money despite bringing in $210 million in revenue.
Or as THE Ohio State University snobs prefer to call it, scarlet ink.
Taking his medicine
Astros pitcher Francis Martes has been suspended for the season after testing positive for Boldenone, a performance-enhancing substance.
In keeping with the theme, MLB announced the sentence by tapping 162 times on a prescription bottle.
Can’t win ’em all
President Trump pardoned former 49ers owner Edward DeBartolo Jr., 73, who was convicted in a gambling fraud scandal.
But the president did, however, refuse the Niners’ request to commute the last nine minutes of Super Bowl LIV.
Talking the talk
• Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, to reporters, explaining how his 22-3 team could lose at home by 22 to unranked N.C. State: “Sometimes when you’ve eaten a lot, you’re not as hungry.”
• Jack FInarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on one place TV could cut back on its XFL game telecasts: “Sideline reporters are as useful as a trombone player in a duck blind.”
Roadrunner alert
And in NHL news, the Arizona Coyotes are in a 1-10-1 slump on the road.
Might be time to place another order with Acme.
Shard alert
Ronnie Backenstoe, 98, has been selling Girl Scout cookies since 1932 — including now, at her Pennsylvania retirement home.
Which reminds us of those brittle sticks of bubble gum that came in packs of baseball cards and shattered like glass when you bit it.
Quote marks
• Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel: “I’m not saying Antonio Brown is going overboard with apologies, but I think he just said ‘I’m sorry’ for the Houston Astros stealing signs.”
• Jeff Gordon of STLtoday.com, on big-money cheating in college basketball: “The fundamental nature of the sport will not change unless the NBA gets serious about funding a developmental league that pays as well as some ACC and SEC programs.”
• Jim Barach of JokesByJim.blogspot.com, on Michigan State investigating whether former football coach Mark Dantonio violated NCAA rules: “Meaning he did, which is why they waited until he’s gone to investigate it.”
• Comedian Argus Hamilton, on the Daytona 500: “39 compete to see who can turn left the fastest. No wait — that’s the Democratic debates.”
• Headline at TheOnion.com: “Best In Show poodle tearfully advocates for Joaquin Phoenix rights during speech at Westminster Dog Show.”
Red-carded
FC Cincinnati forward Darren Mattocks has been charged with insurance fraud and theft by deception after he allegedly claimed he’d re-upped his elapsed auto-insurance policy just hours before he totaled his car — when in fact the opposite was true.
Apparently he thought he was entitled to 180 minutes of stoppage time.
Snake Stabler approves
It was quite the funny sight when fans at a D.C. Defenders XFL game created a 75-foot-long snake from empty beer cups in the stands.
In other words, a brew-haha.
Quote, end quote
• Shane Lantz of the Mason City (Iowa) Globe Gazette, via Twitter, on MLB commissioner Rob Manfred botching his attempt at damage control of the Astros’ sign-stealing scandal: “He’s trying to put the blaze out with a leaf blower and has basically started a forest fire.”
• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, throwing water on claims that Jose Altuve “stole” the AL’s 2017 MVP award: “Perhaps it should be noted that the Astros’ second baseman hit 70 points higher on the road than he did at home.”
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on former CFL cornerback Tre Roberson weighing nine offers before signing with the Bears: “Because Chicago is most likely to give him that subzero gameday weather he’s gotten used to in Calgary.”
.• Patti Dawn Swansson of PattiTheRiverCityRenegade.wordpress.com, on the radio silence amid the impasse between the Winnipeg Jets and Dustin Byfuglien: “Byfuglien takes his right to remain silent more seriously than a guy handcuffed in the back seat of a cop car.”
• Michael Rosenberg of SI.com, on the decade of the 2010s in sports proving so wild and unpredictable: “Nobody knew what was coming, except the Astros.”
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