An investigation has cleared YouTube mom Myka Stauffer of any wrongdoing in the way she and her husband, James, relinquished custody of a toddler they adopted from China in 2017, after realizing they were unable or unwilling to handle his special needs.
The investigation cleared the Ohio couple of any abuse regarding 4-year-old Huxley’s treatment while he was their child, and determined the Stauffers took legal steps to move the boy, who had been diagnosed with autism, into what Myka called his new “forever” home.
In more good news for fans worried about Huxley’s well-being, the Delaware County Sheriff’s Department investigation revealed that he appears to be happy and lovingly cared for by his prospective new parents.
According to Deputy Susanna Leonard, Huxley “seemed very active and showed no signs of any abuse from what I could visually see.”
“When we walked into the office, (Huxley’s new) adoptive mother was singing a song to him as he was sitting on her lap smiling,” Leonard wrote. “(Huxley) appeared to be very happy and well taken care of.”
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Myka and James Stauffer set off an international firestorm on social media last month when they announced in a tearful video, filmed in their brightly lit Ohio home, that they had decided to stop being Huxley’s parents.
The couple said they came to this conclusion “after multiple assessments, after multiple evaluations, numerous medical professionals have felt that he needed a different fit in his medical needs.” Myka Stauffer alluded to “multiple scary things (that) happened inside the home” to their four biological children, who range in ages from 8 to 11 months.
“He needed more,” she tearfully told the camera.
Even though the investigation cleared the Stauffers of allegations of abuse and human trafficking, it will do little to undo the unflattering portrait that emerged of the couple, who live outside Columbus, Ohio.
The Stauffers spent the last few years trying to build a small influencer empire by monetizing their family’s social media posts. Myka especially positioned herself as a relatable but authoritative voice on life-style, parenting and international adoption. She presented herself as a harried but glamorous mother of five, who juggled care and downtime with five “kiddos” with tips on makeup, shopping and home-decorating.
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The couple’s decision to “abandon” Huxley — as critics saw it — raised myriad questions about the influencer culture, the couple’s “white savior” complex, the treatment of special needs children and the rights of children on social media, Slate reported.
In their interview with investigators, the Stauffers defended their actions by detailing the ways the little boy attacked their four other children. They said he caused trauma to one and posed a long-term threat to the family’s welfare.
But their comments also revealed a couple who were ill-equipped to address Huxley’s needs and may not have been as committed to being his parents as they publicly proclaimed; the couple had yet to finalize Huxley’s adoption in the United States.
Huxley, who has sensory processing disorders, could become easily overwhelmed by the chaos of their large family, Myka said. He would retreat into self-soothing behaviors and needed hours of therapy each day, which they said had become too expensive for them and difficult to manage. They also admitted to one “bad judgement call.” That’s when they used duct tape on his hand to keep him from sucking his thumb; they said he was sucking his thumb so much, he was causing blisters. They admitted they should have paid $200 for a special device to prevent self-injury.
The Stauffers brought Huxley home to the United States and shared an emotional 2017 “Gotcha Day China Adoption” video that garnered 5.5 million views. In all, the Stauffers posted 27 videos featuring Huxley that significantly boosted their online profile, BuzzFeed News reported.
Fans pointed out that the couple purchased a spacious new home and stylish furnishings, drove luxury cars and went on pricey vacations after Huxley’s adoption. They especially criticized Myka for posting videos of Huxley, some of which showed her exasperation over his thumbsucking, meltdowns, displays of anxiety about food and other behaviors that parents say is characteristic of children with autism.
Before the Stauffers went to China, Myka repeatedly claimed that she and James did extensive research and talked to numerous doctors and experts to prepare themselves to adopt a child with special needs. But in an August 2019 column for the Bump, Myka said that they were misled about the cause and extent of Huxley’s disabilities. They were told he had been diagnosed with a brain cyst but could speak and understand Chinese. Upon meeting him in China, they realized that “something was off”; he was “profoundly developmentally delayed” and would violently bang his head against the wall and “bite and pinch anyone who came too close, including his new siblings.”
Myka Stauffer said she hoped Huxley just needed to overcome the trauma of being uprooted to a new home and family, but when the boy’s behavior didn’t improve, she took him to doctors who diagnosed him with autism and other disabilities.
Fans noted that Huxley began to increasingly disappear from his parents’ channels, especially after Myka gave birth to their fourth biological child, a boy named Onyx, in June 2019. Huxley’s apparent last appearance in one of the Stauffers’ video was earlier this year when his parents packed to take themselves and Onyx on vacation to the luxury Four Seasons resort in Bali.
Myka Stauffer described the vacation as necessary for her “soul.”
“I will never be a perfect mama but one of my focuses this year is to give my kids the best version of me,” Myka wrote.
On Mother’s Day, she hinted that she had recently faced serious challenges by posting, “Today, was my hardest Mother’s Day I have ever had. … Motherhood, is not always easy sometimes it’s hard, messy and unpredictable. But, I’m in awe at how many moms just lead with the most selfless heart, and kindest soul.”
Critics say the Bali trip coincided with when Myka and James Stauffer would have been in the process of “rehoming” Huxley. They say the couple never would have revealed their plans for Huxley if they had not begun pestering them for information about his whereabouts.
The Stauffers told investigators they have been receiving death threats that would force them to move. They also denied allegations that they pocketed money from a GoFundMe that they used to solicit donations for Huxley’s adoption.
Last week, Myka Stauffer returned to social media to apologize to fans — and to deny that she and her husband got wealthy from Huxley’s adoption. In a four-page Notes app apology, she admitted she was “naive” and had undertrained to deal with his needs. She said it was wrong to subject a young adoptee to “any more trauma.”
“I wanted to help so bad I was willing to bring home any child that needed me,” she wrote. “For this I was foolish, naive, and arrogant. I wish so bad I was more prepared and done more.”
