Try to bridge the emotional distance that arises from practising social distancing

The last three months of lockdown witnessed people practising social distancing, but it also gave rise to something else. Along with physical distance, self-quarantining led to emotional distancing as well, where people seemed to move away mentally from their loved ones, in a few cases, even under the same roof. Experts say that this can be painful and should be left behind as we slowly get back to our normal lives.
‘Being emotionally distanced is extremely painful’
Neha Kadapalli, a law student from Andheri, went through this “heartbreaking phase”.She says, “I started seeing someone in February. Once the lockdown was announced, I was sad that we couldn’t catch up like before, but we used to text a lot, so it was okay. And soon, it was like he was a ghost... so distant. He hardly answered my calls, and texts got one or two-word replies. I was prepared for the physical distancing, but to be so far away from someone mentally left me shaken. It was so painful!”
She’s not alone. Quite a few people moved out of the orbit of communication with their loved ones. Affirms social activist Barkha Trehan, “You will be surprised with how many people were victim to this. We got onto a few con-calls to realise how this had affected family harmony to such a large extent. When you feel shut down from someone this way, it leads to a lot of despair. Yes, people are dealing with trauma, but in tough times, people need to live together and emotional distance drives a wedge in that.”
‘This is the time to build bridges and connect with people more than ever’
With so much going on due to the pandemic, something like this was bound to happen, say experts. Elaborates psychiatrist Dr Shefali Batra, “Emotional distancing is now popping up in the age of social distancing, with people saying that they want to be alone and not communicate with those they were close to earlier. For some, it’s a realisation made during the lockdown — that they’re truly alone and can survive without anyone. It’s a kind of slow disconnect between two individuals, who were once closely connected. We usually use the term in romantic relationships, but it is applicable in family and friendships, too.” She adds, “To move ahead, try to open up more. It will help you regain trust as you move towards a normal life again. Isolation does have an impact, but this is the time to build bridges and connect with people more than ever.”
Here are the key psychological constructs associated with emotional distancing
1. Getting comfortable during one’s ‘alone time’ and not wanting to break the silence.
2. A feeling of inner turmoil and distress that disallows one to communicate and connect with others.
3. Lack of intimacy owing to the pressure of working from home, fear of losing one’s job or the presence of children. Also, the lack of ‘alone time’ and limited recreational activities.
4. Rising emotional temperatures due to stress are breaking rules of communication, and this is
making people less tolerant towards one another. Hence, they are willing to give up on emotional connectedness.