DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have begun to struggle with our bills after unemployment was cut back. My job is still closed, and my boyfriend is unemployed. To bring in extra money, I decided to create a private fan page where I share exclusive photos and videos of myself.
My boyfriend knows about it and is not happy. He wants me to stop. I have a huge and still-growing following on my page, and it is bringing in a lot more money. I am finally, for once, getting ahead in my bills and able to get more things done.
My boyfriend wants me to shut it down. I do not want to. He is threatening to leave me. Should I close my biggest moneymaker app or let him go?
Moneymaker
DEAR MONEYMAKER: I understand both sides on this one, and it is tough. While it is not a new concept for women, in particular, to use their bodies to make money, it can be difficult for a partner to be OK with it. There are so many issues attached to this — from your personal safety to shared values to the bottom line.
You two need to talk through everything. In order to survive this moment, you have to get on the same page as it relates to your values. Talk about what’s important to you, what you can handle and what you can’t. Talk long-term and short-term. Given that you two are in dire straits right now, perhaps you can create a timeline for how long you will do these postings, so that you can keep your home and put food on the table. Talk about strategies for finding work.
Also, know that if a potential employer discovers what you are doing, it could compromise your ability to get that work. Most jobs have ethical guidelines that they follow, and suggestive and/or sexual content is typically not on the accepted list of activities.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I lent my car to my sister so she could take one of her friends out to celebrate their birthday. I have one of those older cars that you have to know how to drive it and it works fine. My brakes sometimes need a little more pressure than average. I told her this before giving her my keys. She ended up getting in a fender bender.
She’s not on my insurance, and I told her I expect her to pay for the damages. She claims that I put her in a dangerous vehicle and that she shouldn’t have to pay for the damages because it is my fault that my car is not drivable. I made her aware and she still took the car and now doesn’t want to be held responsible.
Am I in the wrong? Or should she pay for the damages?
Loose Brakes
LOOSE BRAKES: You are at fault for letting your sister drive a car when she wasn’t protected by your insurance, regardless of the state of the car. Your sister is ethically responsible, as she drove the car and is the one who had the accident.
Of course she should pay for the damages. It may be hard for you to enforce, though. Ultimately, you have to take care of it, but you should make it clear to your sister that she is responsible. She knows it. Do your best not to let her get away with it.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
