No sex position can be everything to everyone, but the Butterfly comes pretty damn close. Why? Because it’s so easy, yet so good. Basically, the receiver lies on their back on something sturdy and elevated (think: bed, table, dresser) while the giver stands to penetrate. The receiver lifts their legs so their ankles are resting on the giver’s shoulders, aaand that’s it! You’re doing it! Minimal effort, maximum results. The giver gets a hot view of their partner’s bare bod and total access to their sexy bits, and the receiver gets to relax and enjoy.
What makes it so good?
The cool thing about the Butterfly isn’t just that it’s easy to do and feels amazing. (But, you know, that too.) “The Butterfly can work for anyone, whatever gender or sexuality—it really is an ‘every hole’s a goal’ situation here. By having someone stand to thrust, you get better angles and access, and you can give the tush some love too,” says Ruby Payne, sexpert for UberKinky. “And the thruster can be a penis-owner or a vulva-owner, as it’s great for peggers.”
And if penetration isn’t your thing, or only partially your thing, you can still do the Butterfly. “Clitoral stimulation is so much easier,” says Payne. “The stander gets to display their fabulous finger work, or alternatively, the person lying down can use a vibrator on themselves for easy self-pleasure access.”
Other pros, as if you needed more
You get deeper penetration.
“It’s great for deeper penetration and allows for clitoral, internal, A-spot, and cervical stimulation,” says Anya Laeta, a Somatic sex and relationship coach.
It’s versatile.
“The Butterfly can be used for rough sex, fast pounding, and deep, slow penetration” says Laeta. You can also incorporate power play by tying up the receiver’s hands or legs, giving them less control.
If you’re the receiver, you don’t have to do much.
If you’re on your back and don’t want to do a damn thing, that’s cool too. The Butterfly does not judge, and in fact, encourages, total chill.
Cons (because nothing is perfect!).
For the receiver, the Butterfly might be a little painful at first. “Depending on how your bits fit together, the giver might end up hitting the cervix,” says Laeta. Going slow can help.
How to make it even better
Remember what we said about versatility? The receiver just has to move their legs to control or totally change the experience. “Spreading your legs can help your partner last longer. Bringing your legs together or crossing them, however, will also add extra friction to your clitoris,” says Laeta. Plus, closing your legs or putting them both on one of the giver’s shoulders will make for a tighter squeeze, which can make the sensation way more pleasurable for the giver if they’re a penis-owner.
Adding toys can also make the Butterfly that much better. “Multiply the experience with a cock ring, a butt plug or anal beads, clitoral suction toys, nipple clamps, or wands —for both the giver and the receiver,” says Sakshi Tickoo, Occupational Therapist, Sexuality Educator, and sexpert for the My Fantasy app. She also recommends experimenting with warm, cold or CBD lubes, “for extra sensation!”
Some variations, if we may…
The Side-Eye
“A great variation is for the receiving partner to lay their closed legs to the left or right. This gives the partner on top more leverage by resting their hands on the bottom partner's hip,” says Goody Howard, resident sexologist for Royal. “The receiving partner can squeeze their thighs together to control the tightness on the penis and the fullness they feel inside. This can also help control how deep the penis goes, which is a bonus for longer penises, more shallow vaginal canals, or sensation-centered anal sex.”
The Anvil
If your cervix can take it, press your feet or legs against your partner’s chest. They lean forward, pushing your legs back toward your body. “This can make the penetration feel even deeper,” says Tatyana Dyachenko, sex therapist and relationship expert for Peaches and Screams.
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
